Sanctification

Perfect Peace

Jesus Is Lord, Sanctification

“Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,” (Romans 5:1 ESV)

How often do you find yourself uttering or thinking the words, I just need a minute?

Recently, a dear woman and sister-in-Christ from my local church blessed a group of us moms with a devotional surrounding the topic of God’s peace. Peace had already been on my mind, as usual, as I seem to struggle with grasping the peace of the Lord through hectic days and the chaotic schedule that comes with rearing children. This time of the year seems to enhance the chaos that appears unrelenting in my mind.

I just need a minute, are words that I find myself echoing multiple times a day. What am I really yearning for? Peace.

Peace from what? Peace from noise, chaos, overstimulation in my mind, ever-changing schedules that appear disorderly and out of control, the mundane of the day—laundry, cooking, dishes, sweeping, schedule planning, homeschooling, taxi-driving—repeat.

Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

I am blessed beyond what I could have ever fathomed for my life.

But.

I have an unrelenting craving for peace and order.

This craving will never be fully satiated in this life of flesh.

I know this. Yet, I still strive and yearn for something eternal that always seems just beyond reach. So, then I find myself pacifying my persistent longing for peace for a counterfeit tranquility that may involve retail therapy, reading a non-edifying book, filling my schedule with non-essentials that prove to be avoiding the hard things on my to do lists.

This calms my cravings for “peace” for a moment or two, but then inevitably the fake calm and the pretend peace prove vaporous as it disappears and the internal cries of “needing a minute,” return with vengeance.

If I’m deeply honest, it’s not a minute that I need.

It’s not a long moment of silence that I need.

It’s not a day absent from household chores or parental and adult responsibilities that I need.

It’s not merely peace that my soul truly longs for.

It’s Jesus.

I need Him, Who gives Peace and gives it in abundance.

I need the One Who is Peace.

I don’t want a mockup version of the worlds peace. I want the peace of the Creator of the Heavens and the Earth.

I want the perfect peace that can never be found in my spouse, children, career, accomplishments, accolades, awards, fashion, worldly knowledge, financial security, a nice home, a comfortable life… these things are not inherently wrong, but it is not where or what the Believer’s peace, or lack-there-of, should be found or rooted in. It’s through Christ alone, through our gift of faith and repentance in Him, and the security of our sealed salvation through Christ’s atoning work at the Cross. This is where our ultimate peace should be knitted to, from now into eternity. The perfect peace of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, the Messiah.

I refuse to settle for imitations.

The Apostle Paul writes to the Roman Church, “Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,” (Romans 5:1, ESV).

Being justified means we now have a right standing with God. We’ve done nothing to earn or guarantee this. It’s not from our own doing, but a gift of revelation from the Lord. My faith is from Him. And because He’s chosen to gift me with faith in His Son, Jesus, I am now at peace with God the Father. And because I am now at peace with God the Father, I now have an eternal peace about all things.

This eternal peace about all things is an objective peace, because I belong to the Lord. My emotions on any given day may not align with this objective and true peace from the Lord, but that doesn’t make it any less true. He gives us this peace that is faultless, pure, and perfect, because He chose to and it glorifies His name, not mine.

Jesus tells us in John 14:27, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”

As a true Believer in Jesus Christ, peace is not something we have to strive for. Peace is not something we have to obtain by perfect work and a model sanctification journey. Peace is not something that is re-produced in our life when circumstances are savory and happy. Peace is not something we earn by any effort of our own doing. Jesus gave it to us. He left us this perfect peace through His Holy Spirit that indwells the heart of every Believer.

As I’m writing this, I have a deep conviction stirring in my heart. I get this wrong so much. I confuse God’s gift of Peace—His promise to never leave us or forsake us, essentially the gift of Himself is the only peace we will ever need—with the world’s version of peace that is a life free from trouble.

Our peace is not derived from a trouble-free life. Does that type of life even exist in this sin-filled world? Our peace is from Jesus, and in Jesus.

Jesus tells us in John 16:33, “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

“In me you may have peace…”

My current conviction surrounds defining this season as chaotic, rather than marinating my thoughts on the gift of this season—Divine prophecy being fulfilled as my magnificent Savior was born.

Isaiah prophesied of this, “For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace,” (Isaiah 9:6 ESV).

My Savior is the Prince of Peace. He is Perfect Peace.

Lord, I pray for each one reading this—Keep our hearts close to You. Remind us of the truth of Your Perfect Peace daily, as we celebrate the birth of Your Son whom You sent as Savior for all whom You called before the foundations of the earth were set.

I Trust my God, I Trust my God, I Trust my God

Ardently His,

Jess Dennis

Promise Keeper

Sanctification, Trusting God

“For all the promises of God find their Yes in him…,” (2 Corinthians 1:20 ESV)

As the recent local rainstorms poured fervently, many grounds undertook more water than they could hold, resulting in flooded areas. Because of the rising waters, my mind was tempted to run to anxious thoughts. The insurgence of rain affected someone close to me as they cried watching the water enter their humble home. With this gut-wrenching phone call the temptation to run to anxious thoughts was no longer a temptation, but a full-blown affair with anxiety.

I’m a fixer. It’s difficult for me to hear someone’s woes and trials and not attempt to curate a solution to ease their pain and suffering. But sometimes we’re not called to “fix it.” What we are called to do at all times is to: rejoice always (1 Thessalonians 5:16), pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17), give thanks in all circumstances (1 Thessalonians 5:18), rejoice in the Lord always (Philippians 4:4), do not be anxious about anything (Philippians 4:6), think on what is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and worthy of praise (Philippians 4:8), and to count it all joy when we meet trials of various kinds (James 1:2).

These biblical imperatives are not a means to bury our heads in the sand of real-life devastations and griefs. They do not give us a right of passage to judge our suffering and hurting brothers and sisters as they wrestle with the reality of a current fallen world-wreckage. We aren’t to mask the realness of ruins by painting a false narrative that a “blessed” Christian mirrors a rainbow and butterfly life because all you must do is name it and claim it. Insert eyeroll emoji. No. These biblical imperatives should charge us with a desire to nosedive into the depths of scripture. How can I rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances, be anxious for nothing, think on truth, and count it all joy?

We can’t walk in these biblical orders apart from knowing the One Who makes any of these beautiful commands possible. Our holy and good God. The God of the Bible. The God of Genesis. The God of the Old Testament. The God of the Gospels. The God of the New Testament. The God of Revelation. My God is the same God as yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

What I learn and am reminded from scripture daily is that my God is a Promise Keeper.

As the waters rose from multiple days of rain and anxiousness drove its way to the center of my heart, my gracious God led me to truth as He displayed His beautiful bow in the sky radiating candescent colors. My anxiousness didn’t stand a chance against the rainbow invading my God’s skies. His promise to Noah from long ago still stands today.

“I establish my covenant with you, that never again shall all flesh be cut off by the waters of the flood, and never again shall there be a flood to destroy the earth.” And God said, “This is the sign of the covenant that I make between me and you and every living creature that is with you, for all future generations: I have set a bow in the cloud, and it shall be a sign of the covenant between me and the earth,” (Genesis 9:11-13 ESV).

During these recent days of rain, it’s not that I feared God was going to lapse in memory of His covenant with Noah—His promise to never flood the earth again, but anxious thoughts of water damage, road closures, and potential wrecks invaded so swiftly. It pains and convicts me that I fall for this trickery of the enemy all too often. These fallings to anxious thoughts affect my reactions to life’s circumstances in a way that is not honoring to my Lord and doesn’t uphold His directions in scripture. It bears rotting fruit of not trusting Him. It reflects a heart that doesn’t reverence His title as Promise Keeper.

It’s with protruding pride that I forget the Promise Keeper title of my Lord. But His bow after the rains reminds me of this truth that will stand until His day of judgment comes to pass. I pray the assurance the rainbow represents mortifies my pride every time my God orders it to shine across His skies.

My God promises many things to His children all through scripture. His promises are fulfilled and without error. Because He is the Promise Keeper, that makes Him trustworthy. When His trustworthiness takes root in our hearts our desire to submit under His beautiful authority should grow without ceasing.

Even when.

Even when our lives are held to the flames. Even when relationships experience division. Even when we’re burying a loved one. Even when the rising waters surround.

Even when.

He is still the Promise Keeper.

Our circumstances change. Sin still tempts. Homes deteriorate. Bodies grow old. Minds forget. But God never-changes and He never breaks His promises to His children. He seals His child for salvation, justifies them, sanctifies them, and glorifies them. God will continuously draw His child close to Himself resulting in continual and life-changing repentance. No matter the outer circumstance, He is committed to His glory by changing us from the inside out with His wonderful beautification process that renders our flesh to pain from time to time.

When we recognize the Lord as Promise Keeper it becomes easier to look past mere earthly circumstances and look to Him. He is outside of our circumstances, yet He is right there with us in our circumstances. He is near to His child. In His forever nearness He continuously gives good gifts to His child. His good gifts are not limited to earthly provisions but aligns with His boundless riches in glory in Jesus Christ. Our Promise Keeper’s oaths are saturated in the heavenly kind. We cannot fathom what He has waiting for us in eternal glory.

My God is:

Promise Keeper, (Hebrews 10:23)

Faithful Father, (Deuteronomy 1:29-31)

Sovereign Salvation, (Jonah 2:9)

Kind King, (Psalm 145:8-9)

Magnificent Maker, (Psalm 104)

Glorious God, (Psalm 19:1)

Loyal Lord, (Deuteronomy 7:9)

Joyous Jehovah, (Zephaniah 3:17)

Radiant Rabbi, (Hebrews 1:3)

Peaceful Prince, (Isaiah 9:6)

Holy Hosanna, (Psalm 22:3-5)

Devoted Deliverer, (Psalm 40:17)

I encourage you to take the time to look up each of these scriptures and commit to continue to grow in knowing more of Who God is through His wonderful Word.  

Here are some of my favorite assurances etched in scripture that my holy God is bound to as Promise Keeper:

“And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus,” (Philippians 4:19 ESV).

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand,” (Isaiah 41:10 ESV).

“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away,” (Revelation 21:4 ESV).

“For all the promises of God find their Yes in him. That is why it is through him that we utter our Amen to God for his glory,” (2 Corinthians 1:20 ESV).

I Trust my God, I Trust my God, I Trust my God

Ardently His,

Jess Dennis

Our Sovereign Lord

Sanctification, Trusting God

“For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.” Colossians 1:16-17 ESV

When I consider my life, I see an abundance of blessings that I don’t deserve even a little bit. I see the mercies of my great God. Yet, still, I contemplate discontentment. I entertain the lie that I deserve more. More of what I ask myself. More excitement in daily life? More time? More space? More accolades for meaningless accomplishments? Just more.

I don’t like it in the headspace of longing for “the more” of life. These notions plagued me recently on a beautiful sunshine day as I played outside with my young daughter. We made our way to our backyard trampoline and looked up at the beautiful blue skies. Above us was an enormous pine tree. As we sat taking in the beauty of the nature designed by our most creative God, I started studying the pinecones and pine needles on the tree overhead. I witnessed several pine needles fall from the tree at different times. My spirit became overwhelmed with the thought that my God ordered those needles to fall from the pines.

My heart and soul were filled with questions to my glorious God. “How many pine needles did you order to this tree?” “How many needles have you told to fall today?” “How many needles are left on this tree?”

Pine needles on a tree stirred my wandering heart to meditate on the sovereignty of my boundless God who authorizes every molecule, dust particle, and pine needle to move.

And if my God Who created the blazing sun, the shining night moon, the stunning stars, sets boundaries for every wave, limits the heights of mountains, numbers the clouds, commands the lightening strikes, and so much more…If He is ceaselessly in tune with His creation so much so that He ordered these pine needles to fall… Then in His sovereignty, He has undeniably ordered my steps to this place in my personal walk with Him.

My God is an intimate, loving, merciful, gracious, personal, trustworthy, and sovereign God.

Over the last decade plus, the Holy Spirit has led me to an endless study on the sovereignty of our magnificent God. I notice when I’m attracted to the world around me and my heart is being seduced by “the more’s” of life, I’m not ruminating in His sovereign ways. My mind and heart are distracted with the clutters of life and I’m neglecting the truth of Who my God is and who I am in Him.

I know I reference this a lot—but what a present reproof is to the believer. It’s a present I want to open daily for the rest of my life. It’s a gift that is so rich and good and aligns our hearts back to truth repeatedly. Praise the Lord for His loving reprimands.

I love John Piper’s definition of Sovereignty and Providence, “God’s sovereignty is His right and power to do all that He decides to do. God’s providence is His wise and purposeful sovereignty.”

So, in God’s sovereignty he has every right and all the power to do as He wills. But, because of the character of God, His providence is displayed through His wise and purposeful sovereignty.

There are so many examples of God’s sovereignty being recognized from saints of the past in scripture, but one that has recently stuck out to me is David’s recognition of God’s sovereignty when King Saul literally spent years chasing him across Isreal with the intentions to murder him out of jealousy.

David had the opportunity more than once to put Saul to death and end the cat and mouse game they had been playing for far too long. When David and his men were sitting in the innermost parts of a cave, and Saul entered the cave to relieve himself, David could have killed Saul right there. Against the words of his men, David, trusting God, chose to only cut a piece of Saul’s robe off rather than assassinate him as most would say he deserved. David says in 1 Samuel 24:6, “The LORD forbid that I should do this thing to my lord, the LORD’s anointed, to put out my hand against him, seeing he is the LORD’s anointed.”

It is evident that David trusts God’s sovereign rule over how long Saul would remain king, God’s current chosen and anointed one. David knows God’s timing is perfect, and he is not called to attempt to intervene with what God has already sovereignly ordained.

This is so encouraging to me. I can’t imagine all that David went through in the years of constant fleeing from Saul’s sword. Can you imagine relentlessly looking over your shoulders? Can you imagine the mental torment trying to figure out who you can trust when the king of the land is set on ending your life? We know from the beautiful Psalms that David wrote during this time that he indeed warred with discontentment and was ailed with many questions to God’s sovereign plan. But, when it came down to David’s heart showing through circumstances, it is evident that the Lord was at work in Him and He was sealed by God’s sovereign protection…and David recognized it.

I want to recognize God’s sovereignty in my life, too. I want God’s sovereignty to be on my mind as soon as I awake in the morning. I want it to be one of the last things I ponder when I close my eyes at night. I want God’s sovereignty to pervade every perspective and decision in my life. I want my life to reflect a heart stance that trusts my God’s sovereign reign over everything.

I want this. However, I must confess, I fail miserably at abiding in Who God is and submitting to His sovereign authority in my life.

But, as I watched the pine needles float seemingly aimlessly through the air to the ground, I was consumed with the notion and truth that they weren’t merely floating aimlessly. Each pine needle was at my sovereign God’s rule. They wouldn’t have loosened from their original place on the tree if God didn’t order them to. If these insignificant pine needles are on my God’s radar and under His authority, then why do I doubt He sees me, His child, and is permanently lovingly governing my life in a way that brings Him the most glory and the best to me? Why is it so easy to doubt and feed unbelief in God’s sovereignty?

Paul writes powerful words influenced by the Holy Spirit that magnifies God’s supremacy over all creation. “For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent” (Colossians 1:16-18 ESV).

When we seek God for Who He is and not merely what we want Him to do in our lives, we will discover deep intimacy with our great God. In this intimacy we won’t be able to deny His sovereignty. We will see His sovereign rule stretching from His gift of eternal salvation for His children that He determined before the foundation of the world, to the pine needle falling to the ground. All of it is by Him, through Him, and for Him.

This intimacy we discover will no doubt deepen our trust in our wonderful Lord. Though, on this side of glory, we will never understand so many mysteries of God, our lives, or the wonders of heaven, but we can rest in knowing He is sovereign in the mysteries. He is sovereign in our heartaches, tears, and griefs. He knows what ails us. He knows the griefs that may silently consume us at times. He knows each tear that has left our eyes. In fact, He has them numbered. David writes in Psalm 56:8, “You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?” Oh, what sweet intimacy the Lord offers His children as He displays His ardent love for us.

Though the depths of God’s perfect design will never be comprehended to its full capacity in the here and now, we also know from scripture that God is sovereign even over sin. This does not purport that God causes or condones sin. But He is sovereign over it as He’s not surprised by our many sins. He even uses our sin for our good and His glory. Paul writes in Romans 8:28, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” What a gracious and grand Heavenly Father we have that He uses even the darkest, most secret parts of our heart and actions and uses it for His divine glory.

The Psalmist writes of our God’s divine sovereignty in Psalm 135, “For I know that the LORD is great, and that our LORD is above all gods. Whatever the LORD pleases, he does, in heaven and on earth, in the seas and all deeps. He it is who makes the clouds rise at the end of the earth, who makes lightnings for the rain and brings forth the wind from his storehouses” (Psalm 135:5-7 ESV).

If you find yourself in wanderings of the heart and being tantalized by the fading sparkle of the world as you question God’s plans for your current lot in life, I want to encourage you to immerse yourself in the truth of God’s sovereignty. Soak in His scriptures and ask Him to reveal His sovereignty in every Bible reading and in every area of your life. As believers, our fleeting lives are not about us, but all about our glorious God who set His affections on us though we reek of total depravity. His affections for us burned with absolute commitment to His glory as He planned for us to remain with Him for eternity by sending His Son Jesus to live sinlessly, undergo crucifixion, and bear the holy wrath of God to atone for the sins of the saints. Our God is good. Our God is merciful to those He chooses to show mercy. Our God is just to those He doesn’t show mercy to. Our God is sovereign over all, and all is unto His glory.

I Trust my God, I Trust my God, I Trust my God

Ardently His,

Jess Dennis

I Am Weak

Sanctification, Trusting God

“…My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness”

 (2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV)

You’re weak.

I’m weak.

We’re all just a bunch of weak humans.

We’re not special.

We’re not elite.

We’re not superhuman.

We’re really nothing but dust, dirt, and depravity.

I’m not writing to the masses on this one, so if you’re easily offended, you’ll probably stop reading. But, if weakness is something you’ve learned to embrace, welcome.

Confession: I despise “feeling” weak. I don’t like to feel physically weak, so I lift weights regularly. I don’t like appearing weak by “needing” something from someone. My pride can consume my convictions over things that require me to display weakness or any form of submission that resembles weakness from a cultural world view.

Though we’re all born weak and helpless, we live in a world that assumes we outgrow that weakness and helplessness. But do we? Obviously we grow physically and most don’t remain as a helpless infant, but we never truly outgrow our innate human weakness that marks us as a creation.

Oxford Languages defines weakness as: “the state or condition of lacking strength.” Similar words include: frailty, feebleness, fault, flaw, defect, deficiency.

I am frail. I am feeble. I am faulted. I am flawed. I am defected. I have many deficiencies. I am weak.

I am a created human. That means I have a Creator.

My great, un-created Creator is the One True God, The Alpha and the Omega, Elohim, El Shaddai, Jehova-Jireh, Adonai.

My Creator is Yahweh.

My Creator chose me in Him before He even created this world (Ephesians 1:4). My Creator knitted me in my mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13). My Creator gives me each breath (Isaiah 42:5). My salvation came from my Creator and belongs to my Creator (Jonah 2:9).  My Creator helps me (Psalm 121:2). My Creator keeps me (Psalm 121:7-8). My Creator is with me (Isaiah 41:10). My Creator strengthens me (Isaiah 41:10). My Creator upholds me (Isaiah 41:10).

I am nothing without my great Creator.

I am weak without my great, wondrous, powerful, merciful, and strong Creator.

In a world that scoffs at weakness, I pray as a sister-in-Christ you relish in your weaknesses, knowing our sovereign and glorious God welcomes our weaknesses so His grace can shine with sufficiency.

In 2 Corinthians 12 we get to see a beautiful illustration of the apostle Paul boasting about his weakness. He starts out matching his adversary’s boasts about spiritual experiences by sharing he’s had visions and revelations from the Lord and was even caught up to the third heaven and heard things that cannot be told, or uttered. But even with this glorious “experience,” he ends with boasting in his weaknesses.

“On behalf of this man I will boast, but on my own behalf I will not boast, except of my weaknesses—though if I should wish to boast, I would not be a fool, for I would be speaking the truth; but I refrain from it, so that no one may think more of me than he sees in me or hears from me. So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me” (2 Corinthians 12:5-8 ESV).

The Lord sovereignly gave Paul a thorn in the flesh. This “thorn” proved to weaken Paul in some way. We’re not given exact details of this thorn, but many Bible scholars presume it to be an internal mental or emotional struggle, a particular temptation, a physical ailment, or a demonic harassment. But we really don’t know.

It doesn’t really matter what the “thorn” was, because we have the Lord’s answer to Paul when the Lord, in His goodness, chose not to remove this “thorn.”

The Lord told Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV).

My weakness has a purpose.

Your weakness has a purpose.

God’s power will be made perfect through our weaknesses—whether those weaknesses are spiritual, emotional, physical, circumstantial, or a particular sin we’re struggling with—we have the grace of our almighty Creator sufficing our weaknesses.

Like me, you’re probably taking a mental note of all of your weaknesses right now. I encourage you to allow God’s grace to shower you rather than shame or guilt with the lies of never measuring up. The truth is we weren’t created to “measure up.” We were created to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. What better way to do that than to know the God Who Created you and all things? The more we know Him, the more we love Him. The more we love Him, the more we trust Him. The more we trust Him, the more we can embrace our weaknesses as creation. The more we embrace our weaknesses as creation, the more we should acknowledge and ascribe glory to our perfect Creator Whose grace is radically sufficient for us and Whose power is magnificently perfected in our weaknesses.

I yearn to respond like Paul when weaknesses intensify and circumstances appear unsatisfactory in my life, and yet, the Lord in His sovereignty chooses not to remove these “thorns.”

“…Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).

I Trust my God, I Trust my God, I Trust my God.

Ardently His,

Jess Dennis

If I Only…

Sanctification, Trusting God

“You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart, I will be found by you, declares the LORD…” Jeremiah 29:13-14

If I only…can just get my workout completed before 7 a.m., I’ll be sure to have a productive day. If I only…can just get my Bible reading completed before I make my coffee, I’ll feel like I can enjoy my cup of coffee. If I only…can just get school completed with Abby for the day, I’ll feel like a good mom. If I only…can just get all of the laundry washed, dried and put away, my mind will be more freed up. If I only…can just get the floors swept and mopped, I’ll feel more accomplished. If I only…can just get the next chapter started on my writing project, I’ll feel like I’m doing something productive. If I only…can just get everything checked off my to-do list before everyone else gets home, I’ll feel better about myself. If I only…can just get dinner going, I’ll feel like I’m serving my family well. If I only…can just get the kitchen cleaned up, I’ll finally feel like I deserve to rest.

Task-oriented, list-checker, tight schedule-keeper… these are just a few ways I’m sure my family would describe my compulsion and desire to be productive and efficient. Though I’ve pretty much always been this way, I thought when I left my career in the middle of 2022, I would leave my notepads of lists in my desk drawer. I thought I’d begin a new chapter of life that didn’t include daily struggling with my over-working brain that is never satisfied or happy until every.single.thing.is.done.

But, the reality is… every single thing will never be done. I’m home all day, homeschooling my girl, working in ministry, co-teaching a weekly CO-OP class, taxi-driving my teens around, cooking for my family, keeping my home clean and inviting. And yet, daily I find myself seeking a meaningless relief and self-satisfaction by checking off my never-ending list of to-do’s.

Some days I get to the bottom of the list. I strategized all day, and never truly enjoyed any of it, just to get every box checked. Guess what? It still wasn’t enough. I still wasn’t satisfied. I still felt I could have produced more, “I should have added to the list,” I’ll silently tell myself. It can truly be madness.

Can you relate?

More recently I’ve realized how deep these notions of time-keeping and list-checking run. They’ve become mental idols. I’m consumed with them. I have a deeply rooted fear of appearing lazy to my family because I’m home now, so I never want to sit down until all of the laundry is completed, all of the meal is cooked, all of the mess is cleaned, and all the things in the house are perfect…. So I basically never sit down. Because I’m reaching for something that doesn’t exist. I’m exhausted. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically…exhausted.

If I only….

I want to be more like the women in the Bible who struggled for twelve years with a discharge of blood. I’ll pass on her physical ailment, but I want more of her heart set on Christ.

“For she said to herself, “If I only touch his garment, I will be made well” (Matthew 9:21 ESV).

Her eyes were set on Christ as her healer.

We’re the same, she and I. She needed something that only Christ could offer her. I need something that only Christ can offer me. Though hers was a physical illness that ailed her for over a decade, deeming her unclean for society—she knew she had to get to this man named Jesus. “If I only touch his garment…” She knew where the ultimate and true source of healing was…Jesus.

Don’t I know this, too? Why then do I not slow down, stop everything, put my notepad of lists away, and have the heart posture of… “If I only touch his garment…” And, I have something this woman didn’t have…she no doubt had to travel and weave her way through crowds surrounding the Messiah to draw near to Him. But, He’s already near to me. He lives on the inside of me! Because of His death on the cross by taking the wrath that you and I deserve from our Holy God because of sin, His burial, His glorious resurrection, and His ascension to heaven, He left us a gift… the gift of the Holy Spirit that comes and dwells inside of the believer! He is near, He is always near.  

Our perfect God left a beautiful promise to Jeremiah, “Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the LORD…” (Jeremiah 29:12-14 ESV).

This promise is for the believer today, too.

If I seek Him with all my heart, He promises to be found. Though, I know I’m sealed for salvation, I never want to stop seeking my God, I never want to take a break in getting to know my God, I never want to halt falling deeper in love with my God, and I never want to cease trusting my God.

“…If I only touch his garment, I will be made well.” Jesus turned, and seeing her he said, “Take heart daughter; your faith has made you well.” And instantly the woman was made well” (Matthew 9:21-22 ESV).

My God has made me well by the gift of His salvation and the grace He continues to pour out on me. He never stops drawing me deeper into sanctification, making me more holy like Him. He even pursues me in the midst of my meaningless battles of attempting to control the day by lists. He is near, He is always near.

Next time I write a to do list, I vow to begin with, “If I only touch his garment…” meaning if all I do is abide in Him, walk in step with His Holy Spirit, and I don’t mark anything else of my self-gratifying list…I will have been made well…

I Trust my God, I Trust my God, I Trust my God

Ardently His,

Jess

2024 Reflection

Sanctification, Trusting God

“But when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit” (2 Corinthians 3:16-18, ESV)

The end of a year and the beginning of a new—It’s as if most of us have “reflection time” marked on our calendars on these end of the year days leading to what we all hope to be a fresh start as a new year dawns, forcing our brains to overpower our hand as we begin the task of writing the numbers of a new year. My mental make-up is one of constant reflection. I feel blessed to have a desire for consistent growth, crushing goals of all kinds, and being in competition with my best competitor—myself. It’s no surprise that reflection time saturates my mind even more on these last days of the year. So reflection time it is.

As a Christ follower—my reflection is centered on my growth and walk toward Christ’s image in all the details of my life.

In reflection of this year, words like; order, acceptance, surrender, obedience, love, and joy invade my mind. My flesh has experienced a slaying to an extent I had not yet experienced, reaching deeply to matters of the heart. My God has orchestrated my life in such a way that His order has been despised in the trenches of warring with my flesh. But my God didn’t leave me there in the trenches, resenting where He ordered me. No, no, not my good Father, who loves, claims, and corrects. And for that, my soul soars in absolute praise to My God. My God in whom my flesh wars to steal His glory in my life, but because of the work of my Savior at the cross and the continued work of the Holy Spirit inside of me, I am engulfed with strength to endure and persevere.

“For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised. For, “Yet a little while, and the coming one will come and will not delay; but my righteous one shall live by faith, and if he shrinks back, my soul has no pleasure in him.” But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but those who have faith and preserve their souls” (Hebrews 10:36-39).

There was a season not long ago, I screamed in anger and anguish at so many uncontrollable things happening in my daily life. The hatred and contempt from another my life was experiencing was enough for me to want to flee. I wanted to run. I wanted to hide. I wanted to escape. I wanted to un-commit to what I committed to. I wanted to fashion my flesh in a sweater of self-pity. I wanted to parade my pride in the streets rather than punish it. My reactions to this internal trial were ones of voicing my rendered anger that teetered toward hatred. But wait, I’m a Christian. Shouldn’t I react in love? Shouldn’t I react in righteousness? Shouldn’t I be ready to obey the words I claim I’d die for? But here was my opportunity to die to myself and to live in the way my God instructs and I was choosing to drop my sword of the spirit and pick up my pride and hold it all too close. Comforting it with the milk this fatal world offers. Have you been there? My sister-in-Christ, we don’t have to stay there. We don’t! Christ took this with Him to His death on the wooden cross for all who were established as children of God before the foundations of the world. As Christ-followers we are no longer bound to sin, nor are we controlled by our flesh.

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit” (Romans 8:1-4).

During this deep and dark internal battle sparked from an external circumstance, my sweet husband—full of the love and wisdom of the Lord—asked me something that awakened truth inside of me to new heights. “Is God sovereign? Or is He not? Is God good? Or is He not?” In my self-centered, pride-adorning, flesh-flexing, temper-tantrum, I shuddered at his question. He rose up to defend a sovereign, good, righteous, loving God, while I melted in a whirlwind of immature selfishness. Can I just take a second and praise my God for allowing me to do life with a man who stands on these truths in love and gentleness, but with a boldness only empowered by the Holy Spirit!

I go back to this moment often. It has been a pivotal mark in this specific sanctification journey. Of course my God is sovereign! Of course my God is good! Just because we don’t understand something or are being wronged by another, doesn’t mean our God isn’t sovereignly in control and continually expressing His goodness through each and every ordered circumstance our lives experience. Okay, so this light-bulb moment set me on a journey of accepting what my God had ordered for my life in this season. But it wasn’t enough to just accept a circumstance that I couldn’t control. I had to surrender to the sanctification journey my God prepared for me.

With the daily surrender to let go of what my flesh craved came the hard work of obedience in daily details and matters of the heart. But, not an un-biblical, righteous, pharisaical, fulfilling of rules or laws to “stay saved” kind of obedience—no, no, it went much deeper. My spirit was awakened to the beauty of obedience and the joy that erupts in our souls from walking in obedience to our sovereign and Holy God.

“For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome. For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?” (1 John 5:3-5).

My God loves me—though there is nothing lovable about me accept Christ’s atoning work at the cross—Because of God’s love and mercy abounding in my life, I want to honor Him. I want to please Him with my life. This brings forth an out of this world understanding of God’s love, followed by a radiating joy that is only culminated with a genuine relationship with Jesus.

This year I began pursuing the joy of my salvation again. Though the joy was never taken away—I just stopped relishing in it. I stopped meditating on the truth of my eternal status. I stopped holding it close and centering the gospel in my every-second-of-the-day moments. I experienced a renewed love flourishing in my soul that only comes from obeying the Word of God and delighting in Biblical truth.

The hidden sin, the wrong motives, and the matters of the heart that the Holy Spirit revealed to me through meditating on God’s Word this year have become treasures that have nursed my hurting soul and crushed spirit. These jewels of truth have slain my perfectionist tendencies. These gems laced in glory have demolished the handcuffs I’ve strutted for years. My God is worthy of EVERY area of my life. My God is worthy of EVERY area of my mind. My God is worthy of EVERY area of my heart. Not just the crumbs of what I sinfully give Him at times…just enough to ‘look’ the part. I am nothing without my sweet Savior. His merciful and continued correction marks the believer with His love.

“My son, do not despise the LORD’S discipline or be weary of his reproof, for the LORD reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights” (Proverbs 3:11-12).

I want to encourage you to have a 2024 reflection time if you haven’t already. Ponder the matters of the heart. Those deep places where wrong motives root, deceit rises, jealousy grows, sinful thoughts fester, and miniscule manipulations come to life. Those secret places that no one knows about, except you and our Holy God, are still to be put to death with the help from the Holy Spirit.   

My prayer for you and I—is that right now and as we enter into a new year—we have a hunger for God’s Word like we’ve never experienced before. Lord, I pray you give us an unearthly craving to be sanctified and stand firm against every detail of sin in our lives. Lord, help us not to be satisfied in conversations that reek of gossip and slanderous speech. I pray Lord, that You make us detest every utterance of complaints that leaves our lips. Give us a great yearning to chase after holiness in every area of our lives. Father, God, I pray You give us a longing to honor You and this longing takes precedence over any other New Year’s goals we may have. Encourage us with Your Holy Spirit as we are being transformed into the image of Your Son, Jesus. Help us to find a never-ending joy in the eternal salvation You’ve gifted us with through Jesus’ sacrifice. Lord I pray you embed a deep desire in us to spread the gospel to all who will listen. May we continually find profound hope in the waiting for Your second coming our Lord and Savior, in Jesus Name. Amen.

I Trust my God, I Trust my God, I Trust my God.

Ardently His,

Jess Dennis

Somewhere Between Answered Prayers & Internal Wars

Sanctification, Trusting God

“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

(Galatians 2:20)

Though, I’ve all but patented the words…I Trust my God…I haven’t lately…trusted my God. In fact, I’ve been plagued with worry, anxiousness, and self-consumed with what I want in this momentary life. I’ve tainted my answered prayers…the prayers nesting and manifesting all around me. My current state can become distorted and lost somewhere between the myth of a rainbow and butterfly life and the reality of a life filled with dying to self, pushing me in the trenches of my sanctification journey—cutting and burning my sin, self-centeredness, and worldly desires—leaving more purified places that took a lot of pain to reflect my Jesus even just a little bit. Then in my weakness and self-centeredness I find myself picking up the cut and burned pieces of darkness and my flesh aches and I want to put the pieces back into their familiar places.

But they don’t quite fit anymore.

And I’m sad, and I’m thankful at the same time. My flesh craves those pieces back where they’ve camped for years. But my spirit knows they don’t belong there anymore. And it’s a war, a never-ending war on this side of glory. Battles come and battles go. Victories are celebrated with praises to My Lord for strengthening me for my journey. But battles are lost too. At the end of some days I am met with defeat, exhaustion, tears, and fear of the unknown.

I don’t want to give up some things in the way I know the Lord is calling me to do.  

I.don’t.want.to. 

But I know I have to. 

I crave to be understood by those around me. I crave to be different. I crave to be more Christ-like in all circumstances. And I fail, over, and over, again. I fail. 

But God.

You know Who doesn’t fail? My God.

And He’s doing something. He’s so personal, He’s so near. The Creator of the universe is doing something in me. He’s working and rearranging all of the things that don’t align with His truth, His Word, His goodness. And it hurts. It’s as if a limb is being dismembered. I don’t care if that queues the dramatics curtain. It hurts. The cutting, the burning, the dismembering of a sin nature so masked that it didn’t even feel like sin until it’s exposed and held to the light of truth illuminated through God’s Holy Word. 

It hurts. I hurt. And it’s time to say goodbye to things I’ve held so close, idolized, and found temporal peace in for far too long. 

My time.

An uninterrupted schedule. 

A life of order.

A perfect home.

A surface reaching peace. 

A facade of control.

Cut it off. Burn it to pieces. Dismember it. 

Whatever it is the Holy Spirit is leading you to kill, stop fighting it. Surrender. Draw your sword and slay it with help from the Holy Spirit.

As Christ followers our individual journey is different—but has one goal—to reflect the image of Jesus. The moral standard of right and wrong and revelation of “big” sins should be blindingly clear—but sin and darkness comes in many forms—All-consuming, reeking of death, but also slow and subtle. Sin can sneak in and disguises itself as good and peaceful, but slowly becomes poison that screams to be poured first as our day begins. 

What is your slow and subtle poison? What is creeping to the center of your worship?

Or, maybe it’s just me struggling to lay aside these subtle—unknowing to anyone else sins—that are stealing my joy, peace, and creating a false reality of a life that doesn’t exist.

In Romans chapter 7, the apostle Paul writes about being freed from the law through Christ.

“…You also have died to the law through the body of Christ, so that you may belong to another, to him who has been raised from the dead, in order that we may bear fruit for God. For while we were living in the flesh, our sinful passions, aroused by the law, were at work in our members to bear fruit for death. But now we are released from the law, having died to that which held us captive, so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit and not in the old way of the writing code.

What then shall we say? That the law is sin? By no means! Yet if it had not been for the law, I would not have known sin. For I would not have known what it is to covet if the law had not said, “You shall not covet.” But sin, seizing an opportunity through the commandment, produced in me all kinds of covetousness. For apart from the law, sin lies dead. I was once alive apart from the law, but when the commandment came, sin came alive and I died. The very commandment that promised life proved to be death to me. For sin, seizing an opportunity through the commandment, deceived me and through it killed me. So the law is holy, and the commandment is holy and righteous and good” (Romans 7:4-12 ESV).

I’ve read this passage dozens of times through the years. But in the more recent years, these words have come to life to me. Paul describes the war of flesh and spirit so perfectly. Though we are freed from the law of just following these religious rules—the law is necessary, but apart from Christ the law leads to death.

Have you ever found yourself in a season of knowing all the right answers, knowing all the right Bible verses to turn to, but yet the discipline of surrendering to the Holy Spirit is left dusty on the top shelf?

Paul continues with, “Did that which is good, then, bring death to me? By no means! It was sin, producing death in me through what is good, in order that sin might be shown to be sin, and through the commandment might become sinful beyond measure. For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am flesh, sold under sin. For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me” (Romans 7:13-20 ESV).

When we are in Christ—sin in our lives will be revealed to us, even sins that are masked with good intentions, but are still a form of idolatry since we’re seeking peace from those things rather than our Lord and Savior.

It hurts our flesh and natural depraved nature knowing we have to lay these sins down over and over daily until our final day on this earth. But, what a gift the Lord has given us as one who He has mercifully gifted salvation to—the gift of Himself. We know through God’s Word that He won’t abandon, forsake, tire of, push aside, or leave us to fight our fleshly battles alone. NO! His Word PROMISES Himself to the believer in Jesus Christ.

In Deuteronomy 31:18, Moses summons Joshua and says, “It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” Then in verse 23 of the same chapter, the Lord Himself commissions Joshua saying, “Be strong and courageous, for you shall bring the people of Israel into the land that I swore to give them. I will be with you.”

The Psalmist pens in Psalm 9:10, “And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.”

I don’t want to covet, idolize, or submit to my own comforts in my daily life any longer. I want what my God wants for my life—which is to look more and more like my Jesus. Regardless of the pain it causes my flesh. The pain won’t matter in eternity. The obsessiveness with time, perfection of space, and resentfulness of chaotic schedules won’t matter.

…And if those things won’t matter in eternity, why should they consume me now?

Rather, I want to be consumed with God’s Word. I want to be consumed in growing in knowledge of the holiness and goodness of God. I want to be consumed with God’s love and learning to love others with the love of Christ.

No matter the battles we face in this fallen world, no matter the difficulty we endure from the daily slaying of our flesh, no matter the deep submission to sufferings beyond our control in this momentary life… no matter… God is with us until the end…and for eternity… Emmanuel.

I Trust my God, I Trust my God, I Trust my God.

Ardently His,

Jess Dennis