Sanctification

Perfect Patience

Jesus Is Lord, Trusting God

“But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life,” (1 Timothy 1:16 ESV)

Do you ever hear someone confess how impatient they are? I’ve been the one on the confessing end surrounding a lack of patience many times. I remember years ago someone comically warned me not to pray for patience because something difficult was bound to happen in my life to test my patience or lack thereof. There became this unspoken fear of attaining patience in my life. I began to view patience as only for the pastors or extra sanctified believers around me. I didn’t feel set apart enough to enter the category of patient. Maybe you can relate. What the Lord has beautifully brought to my attention through studying His Word is that I should have been focusing on His patience, not the miniscule version of patience I could attain. My attention should have centered on His perfect patience and what that means.

Patience is defined by Oxford Languages as, “the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.”

The patience of God is illustrated daily; with every breath we breathe. His patience overwhelms His Creation that is marred by sin. The fact that He’s gifted us with Salvation and then continuously lavishes His grace on us, is His patience.

He’s God—He’s eternal perfect wisdom—He is the only Omniscient One there is and will ever be—So He created His creation KNOWING that left to freewill, we WILL sin. And He’s so holy, He can’t abide with even a speck of sin… all of this points to His innate patience before He chose to create us. Within this perfect patience, He had already set a plan for Salvation for His people through the work of Jesus Christ at the cross in eternity past.

The entire plan of Salvation—Jesus being born of a virgin, being fully God, yet fully man, living a sinless and perfect life, revealing His deity through miraculous wonders and signs, being captured, tortured, and bearing the holy wrath of God for all of His children’s sin, taking our place in that well-deserved punishment, hung on a cross to die a physical death, was buried, to resurrect to life again three days later, having defeated death and the power of sin on the believer, and ascend back to heaven—The entire plan of Salvation is marked with God’s patience for His children. Not only does the entire plan of Salvation point to God’s patience, but through the life of Christ we have an example of patience that magnifies perfect patience as He willingly endured the cross as obedience to God the Father. We cannot atone for ourselves. We cannot keep ourselves from sinning. We cannot rise to perfection in any way that would garner an eternal life in Heaven next to our Perfect God. God knew all of this prior to Genesis 1:1. We must recognize the beautiful patience of our wonderful God. 

God’s patience does not negate the consequences of sin. It’s actually through our sin that we radically recognize the patience of God.

If we’re honest about our deeply embedded sin nature that derives from our corrupted desires, manifesting from our own free-will and in light of God’s boundless holiness—we should all be like Herod Agrippa in Acts 12. He did not give God the glory and attempted to possess the praises of the people. Because of this, he was struck down, breathed his last breath, and was eaten by worms. The fact that this hasn’t been the fate of all of us yet, is the patience of God.

We can recognize God’s patience regarding our sin all the way back in the beginning of Genesis. God knew the sin that was going to take place in the Garden of Eden. He could have struck Adam and Eve to death and cast them into an eternal doom right then. He could have wiped out all future remnants of the human race at The Fall in Genesis 3.

But He didn’t.

His patience endures.

His patience is evidently present and perfect, and infinite as He is infinite. Not only did He patiently allow Adam and Eve to continue to breath, but He cared for them so much that He expelled them from the Garden of Eden so they wouldn’t fall in any future temptation and fail from the expression of their own free-will, and then eat of the Tree of Life and live forever in a sinful state.

He is a patient God.

The fact that God has gifted us with sanctification journeys points to His loving patience toward us. He is so holy and calls us to be holy, but He doesn’t expect a holy perfection from us while in our physical bodies of flesh. So, He providentially allows us to grow in this holiness.

That alone shines so much light on His perfect patience.

If patience is a gift from the Holy Spirit and a mark and a fruit of the Holy Spirit, along with Love, Joy, Peace, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-control, we can rest in knowing that God is in all sense perfectly patient. He wouldn’t call us to bear something that He doesn’t emulate in an absolute boundless way. Now, we know we will never conduct ourselves in perfect patience this side of glory, but His grace makes up for all that we could never attain. His grace points back to His overwhelming patience with His children whom He’s called before the foundations of the world were created.

I love the instruction of the Apostle Paul written to the church at Colossae. He writes,

“Put to death what is earthly in you…Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him,” (Colossians 3:5,12-17 ESV).  

Paul is instructing and challenging and calling those who are repented believers to a holy lifestyle that is consistent with our new identities in Christ Jesus. He is reiterating that believers have been chosen by God and stand before Him as His beloved holy ones. Paul is instructing the believer to put on the virtues of Christ and patience is listed among these top tier virtues—this magnifies the attribute of God’s perfect patience. Though we can’t obtain His perfect patience, it is an attribute of God that is communicable to a degree to the believer. We are to take part in His patience as we grow in His grace and grow in His wisdom and grow in His likeness, we are to bear with others in patience.

What a gift from the Lord that He’s allowed space for the believer to take part in the attribute of His patience.

I encourage you to seek to become more patient as He is patient. I encourage you to welcome the sanctifying moments that challenge you to rise in patience all the while you rely on the strength of the God of Perfect Patience.

I Trust my God, I Trust my God, I Trust my God

Ardently His,

Jess

Our Sovereign Lord

Sanctification, Trusting God

“For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.” Colossians 1:16-17 ESV

When I consider my life, I see an abundance of blessings that I don’t deserve even a little bit. I see the mercies of my great God. Yet, still, I contemplate discontentment. I entertain the lie that I deserve more. More of what I ask myself. More excitement in daily life? More time? More space? More accolades for meaningless accomplishments? Just more.

I don’t like it in the headspace of longing for “the more” of life. These notions plagued me recently on a beautiful sunshine day as I played outside with my young daughter. We made our way to our backyard trampoline and looked up at the beautiful blue skies. Above us was an enormous pine tree. As we sat taking in the beauty of the nature designed by our most creative God, I started studying the pinecones and pine needles on the tree overhead. I witnessed several pine needles fall from the tree at different times. My spirit became overwhelmed with the thought that my God ordered those needles to fall from the pines.

My heart and soul were filled with questions to my glorious God. “How many pine needles did you order to this tree?” “How many needles have you told to fall today?” “How many needles are left on this tree?”

Pine needles on a tree stirred my wandering heart to meditate on the sovereignty of my boundless God who authorizes every molecule, dust particle, and pine needle to move.

And if my God Who created the blazing sun, the shining night moon, the stunning stars, sets boundaries for every wave, limits the heights of mountains, numbers the clouds, commands the lightening strikes, and so much more…If He is ceaselessly in tune with His creation so much so that He ordered these pine needles to fall… Then in His sovereignty, He has undeniably ordered my steps to this place in my personal walk with Him.

My God is an intimate, loving, merciful, gracious, personal, trustworthy, and sovereign God.

Over the last decade plus, the Holy Spirit has led me to an endless study on the sovereignty of our magnificent God. I notice when I’m attracted to the world around me and my heart is being seduced by “the more’s” of life, I’m not ruminating in His sovereign ways. My mind and heart are distracted with the clutters of life and I’m neglecting the truth of Who my God is and who I am in Him.

I know I reference this a lot—but what a present reproof is to the believer. It’s a present I want to open daily for the rest of my life. It’s a gift that is so rich and good and aligns our hearts back to truth repeatedly. Praise the Lord for His loving reprimands.

I love John Piper’s definition of Sovereignty and Providence, “God’s sovereignty is His right and power to do all that He decides to do. God’s providence is His wise and purposeful sovereignty.”

So, in God’s sovereignty he has every right and all the power to do as He wills. But, because of the character of God, His providence is displayed through His wise and purposeful sovereignty.

There are so many examples of God’s sovereignty being recognized from saints of the past in scripture, but one that has recently stuck out to me is David’s recognition of God’s sovereignty when King Saul literally spent years chasing him across Isreal with the intentions to murder him out of jealousy.

David had the opportunity more than once to put Saul to death and end the cat and mouse game they had been playing for far too long. When David and his men were sitting in the innermost parts of a cave, and Saul entered the cave to relieve himself, David could have killed Saul right there. Against the words of his men, David, trusting God, chose to only cut a piece of Saul’s robe off rather than assassinate him as most would say he deserved. David says in 1 Samuel 24:6, “The LORD forbid that I should do this thing to my lord, the LORD’s anointed, to put out my hand against him, seeing he is the LORD’s anointed.”

It is evident that David trusts God’s sovereign rule over how long Saul would remain king, God’s current chosen and anointed one. David knows God’s timing is perfect, and he is not called to attempt to intervene with what God has already sovereignly ordained.

This is so encouraging to me. I can’t imagine all that David went through in the years of constant fleeing from Saul’s sword. Can you imagine relentlessly looking over your shoulders? Can you imagine the mental torment trying to figure out who you can trust when the king of the land is set on ending your life? We know from the beautiful Psalms that David wrote during this time that he indeed warred with discontentment and was ailed with many questions to God’s sovereign plan. But, when it came down to David’s heart showing through circumstances, it is evident that the Lord was at work in Him and He was sealed by God’s sovereign protection…and David recognized it.

I want to recognize God’s sovereignty in my life, too. I want God’s sovereignty to be on my mind as soon as I awake in the morning. I want it to be one of the last things I ponder when I close my eyes at night. I want God’s sovereignty to pervade every perspective and decision in my life. I want my life to reflect a heart stance that trusts my God’s sovereign reign over everything.

I want this. However, I must confess, I fail miserably at abiding in Who God is and submitting to His sovereign authority in my life.

But, as I watched the pine needles float seemingly aimlessly through the air to the ground, I was consumed with the notion and truth that they weren’t merely floating aimlessly. Each pine needle was at my sovereign God’s rule. They wouldn’t have loosened from their original place on the tree if God didn’t order them to. If these insignificant pine needles are on my God’s radar and under His authority, then why do I doubt He sees me, His child, and is permanently lovingly governing my life in a way that brings Him the most glory and the best to me? Why is it so easy to doubt and feed unbelief in God’s sovereignty?

Paul writes powerful words influenced by the Holy Spirit that magnifies God’s supremacy over all creation. “For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent” (Colossians 1:16-18 ESV).

When we seek God for Who He is and not merely what we want Him to do in our lives, we will discover deep intimacy with our great God. In this intimacy we won’t be able to deny His sovereignty. We will see His sovereign rule stretching from His gift of eternal salvation for His children that He determined before the foundation of the world, to the pine needle falling to the ground. All of it is by Him, through Him, and for Him.

This intimacy we discover will no doubt deepen our trust in our wonderful Lord. Though, on this side of glory, we will never understand so many mysteries of God, our lives, or the wonders of heaven, but we can rest in knowing He is sovereign in the mysteries. He is sovereign in our heartaches, tears, and griefs. He knows what ails us. He knows the griefs that may silently consume us at times. He knows each tear that has left our eyes. In fact, He has them numbered. David writes in Psalm 56:8, “You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?” Oh, what sweet intimacy the Lord offers His children as He displays His ardent love for us.

Though the depths of God’s perfect design will never be comprehended to its full capacity in the here and now, we also know from scripture that God is sovereign even over sin. This does not purport that God causes or condones sin. But He is sovereign over it as He’s not surprised by our many sins. He even uses our sin for our good and His glory. Paul writes in Romans 8:28, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” What a gracious and grand Heavenly Father we have that He uses even the darkest, most secret parts of our heart and actions and uses it for His divine glory.

The Psalmist writes of our God’s divine sovereignty in Psalm 135, “For I know that the LORD is great, and that our LORD is above all gods. Whatever the LORD pleases, he does, in heaven and on earth, in the seas and all deeps. He it is who makes the clouds rise at the end of the earth, who makes lightnings for the rain and brings forth the wind from his storehouses” (Psalm 135:5-7 ESV).

If you find yourself in wanderings of the heart and being tantalized by the fading sparkle of the world as you question God’s plans for your current lot in life, I want to encourage you to immerse yourself in the truth of God’s sovereignty. Soak in His scriptures and ask Him to reveal His sovereignty in every Bible reading and in every area of your life. As believers, our fleeting lives are not about us, but all about our glorious God who set His affections on us though we reek of total depravity. His affections for us burned with absolute commitment to His glory as He planned for us to remain with Him for eternity by sending His Son Jesus to live sinlessly, undergo crucifixion, and bear the holy wrath of God to atone for the sins of the saints. Our God is good. Our God is merciful to those He chooses to show mercy. Our God is just to those He doesn’t show mercy to. Our God is sovereign over all, and all is unto His glory.

I Trust my God, I Trust my God, I Trust my God

Ardently His,

Jess Dennis

If I Only…

Sanctification, Trusting God

“You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart, I will be found by you, declares the LORD…” Jeremiah 29:13-14

If I only…can just get my workout completed before 7 a.m., I’ll be sure to have a productive day. If I only…can just get my Bible reading completed before I make my coffee, I’ll feel like I can enjoy my cup of coffee. If I only…can just get school completed with Abby for the day, I’ll feel like a good mom. If I only…can just get all of the laundry washed, dried and put away, my mind will be more freed up. If I only…can just get the floors swept and mopped, I’ll feel more accomplished. If I only…can just get the next chapter started on my writing project, I’ll feel like I’m doing something productive. If I only…can just get everything checked off my to-do list before everyone else gets home, I’ll feel better about myself. If I only…can just get dinner going, I’ll feel like I’m serving my family well. If I only…can just get the kitchen cleaned up, I’ll finally feel like I deserve to rest.

Task-oriented, list-checker, tight schedule-keeper… these are just a few ways I’m sure my family would describe my compulsion and desire to be productive and efficient. Though I’ve pretty much always been this way, I thought when I left my career in the middle of 2022, I would leave my notepads of lists in my desk drawer. I thought I’d begin a new chapter of life that didn’t include daily struggling with my over-working brain that is never satisfied or happy until every.single.thing.is.done.

But, the reality is… every single thing will never be done. I’m home all day, homeschooling my girl, working in ministry, co-teaching a weekly CO-OP class, taxi-driving my teens around, cooking for my family, keeping my home clean and inviting. And yet, daily I find myself seeking a meaningless relief and self-satisfaction by checking off my never-ending list of to-do’s.

Some days I get to the bottom of the list. I strategized all day, and never truly enjoyed any of it, just to get every box checked. Guess what? It still wasn’t enough. I still wasn’t satisfied. I still felt I could have produced more, “I should have added to the list,” I’ll silently tell myself. It can truly be madness.

Can you relate?

More recently I’ve realized how deep these notions of time-keeping and list-checking run. They’ve become mental idols. I’m consumed with them. I have a deeply rooted fear of appearing lazy to my family because I’m home now, so I never want to sit down until all of the laundry is completed, all of the meal is cooked, all of the mess is cleaned, and all the things in the house are perfect…. So I basically never sit down. Because I’m reaching for something that doesn’t exist. I’m exhausted. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically…exhausted.

If I only….

I want to be more like the women in the Bible who struggled for twelve years with a discharge of blood. I’ll pass on her physical ailment, but I want more of her heart set on Christ.

“For she said to herself, “If I only touch his garment, I will be made well” (Matthew 9:21 ESV).

Her eyes were set on Christ as her healer.

We’re the same, she and I. She needed something that only Christ could offer her. I need something that only Christ can offer me. Though hers was a physical illness that ailed her for over a decade, deeming her unclean for society—she knew she had to get to this man named Jesus. “If I only touch his garment…” She knew where the ultimate and true source of healing was…Jesus.

Don’t I know this, too? Why then do I not slow down, stop everything, put my notepad of lists away, and have the heart posture of… “If I only touch his garment…” And, I have something this woman didn’t have…she no doubt had to travel and weave her way through crowds surrounding the Messiah to draw near to Him. But, He’s already near to me. He lives on the inside of me! Because of His death on the cross by taking the wrath that you and I deserve from our Holy God because of sin, His burial, His glorious resurrection, and His ascension to heaven, He left us a gift… the gift of the Holy Spirit that comes and dwells inside of the believer! He is near, He is always near.  

Our perfect God left a beautiful promise to Jeremiah, “Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the LORD…” (Jeremiah 29:12-14 ESV).

This promise is for the believer today, too.

If I seek Him with all my heart, He promises to be found. Though, I know I’m sealed for salvation, I never want to stop seeking my God, I never want to take a break in getting to know my God, I never want to halt falling deeper in love with my God, and I never want to cease trusting my God.

“…If I only touch his garment, I will be made well.” Jesus turned, and seeing her he said, “Take heart daughter; your faith has made you well.” And instantly the woman was made well” (Matthew 9:21-22 ESV).

My God has made me well by the gift of His salvation and the grace He continues to pour out on me. He never stops drawing me deeper into sanctification, making me more holy like Him. He even pursues me in the midst of my meaningless battles of attempting to control the day by lists. He is near, He is always near.

Next time I write a to do list, I vow to begin with, “If I only touch his garment…” meaning if all I do is abide in Him, walk in step with His Holy Spirit, and I don’t mark anything else of my self-gratifying list…I will have been made well…

I Trust my God, I Trust my God, I Trust my God

Ardently His,

Jess

2024 Reflection

Sanctification, Trusting God

“But when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit” (2 Corinthians 3:16-18, ESV)

The end of a year and the beginning of a new—It’s as if most of us have “reflection time” marked on our calendars on these end of the year days leading to what we all hope to be a fresh start as a new year dawns, forcing our brains to overpower our hand as we begin the task of writing the numbers of a new year. My mental make-up is one of constant reflection. I feel blessed to have a desire for consistent growth, crushing goals of all kinds, and being in competition with my best competitor—myself. It’s no surprise that reflection time saturates my mind even more on these last days of the year. So reflection time it is.

As a Christ follower—my reflection is centered on my growth and walk toward Christ’s image in all the details of my life.

In reflection of this year, words like; order, acceptance, surrender, obedience, love, and joy invade my mind. My flesh has experienced a slaying to an extent I had not yet experienced, reaching deeply to matters of the heart. My God has orchestrated my life in such a way that His order has been despised in the trenches of warring with my flesh. But my God didn’t leave me there in the trenches, resenting where He ordered me. No, no, not my good Father, who loves, claims, and corrects. And for that, my soul soars in absolute praise to My God. My God in whom my flesh wars to steal His glory in my life, but because of the work of my Savior at the cross and the continued work of the Holy Spirit inside of me, I am engulfed with strength to endure and persevere.

“For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised. For, “Yet a little while, and the coming one will come and will not delay; but my righteous one shall live by faith, and if he shrinks back, my soul has no pleasure in him.” But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but those who have faith and preserve their souls” (Hebrews 10:36-39).

There was a season not long ago, I screamed in anger and anguish at so many uncontrollable things happening in my daily life. The hatred and contempt from another my life was experiencing was enough for me to want to flee. I wanted to run. I wanted to hide. I wanted to escape. I wanted to un-commit to what I committed to. I wanted to fashion my flesh in a sweater of self-pity. I wanted to parade my pride in the streets rather than punish it. My reactions to this internal trial were ones of voicing my rendered anger that teetered toward hatred. But wait, I’m a Christian. Shouldn’t I react in love? Shouldn’t I react in righteousness? Shouldn’t I be ready to obey the words I claim I’d die for? But here was my opportunity to die to myself and to live in the way my God instructs and I was choosing to drop my sword of the spirit and pick up my pride and hold it all too close. Comforting it with the milk this fatal world offers. Have you been there? My sister-in-Christ, we don’t have to stay there. We don’t! Christ took this with Him to His death on the wooden cross for all who were established as children of God before the foundations of the world. As Christ-followers we are no longer bound to sin, nor are we controlled by our flesh.

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit” (Romans 8:1-4).

During this deep and dark internal battle sparked from an external circumstance, my sweet husband—full of the love and wisdom of the Lord—asked me something that awakened truth inside of me to new heights. “Is God sovereign? Or is He not? Is God good? Or is He not?” In my self-centered, pride-adorning, flesh-flexing, temper-tantrum, I shuddered at his question. He rose up to defend a sovereign, good, righteous, loving God, while I melted in a whirlwind of immature selfishness. Can I just take a second and praise my God for allowing me to do life with a man who stands on these truths in love and gentleness, but with a boldness only empowered by the Holy Spirit!

I go back to this moment often. It has been a pivotal mark in this specific sanctification journey. Of course my God is sovereign! Of course my God is good! Just because we don’t understand something or are being wronged by another, doesn’t mean our God isn’t sovereignly in control and continually expressing His goodness through each and every ordered circumstance our lives experience. Okay, so this light-bulb moment set me on a journey of accepting what my God had ordered for my life in this season. But it wasn’t enough to just accept a circumstance that I couldn’t control. I had to surrender to the sanctification journey my God prepared for me.

With the daily surrender to let go of what my flesh craved came the hard work of obedience in daily details and matters of the heart. But, not an un-biblical, righteous, pharisaical, fulfilling of rules or laws to “stay saved” kind of obedience—no, no, it went much deeper. My spirit was awakened to the beauty of obedience and the joy that erupts in our souls from walking in obedience to our sovereign and Holy God.

“For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome. For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?” (1 John 5:3-5).

My God loves me—though there is nothing lovable about me accept Christ’s atoning work at the cross—Because of God’s love and mercy abounding in my life, I want to honor Him. I want to please Him with my life. This brings forth an out of this world understanding of God’s love, followed by a radiating joy that is only culminated with a genuine relationship with Jesus.

This year I began pursuing the joy of my salvation again. Though the joy was never taken away—I just stopped relishing in it. I stopped meditating on the truth of my eternal status. I stopped holding it close and centering the gospel in my every-second-of-the-day moments. I experienced a renewed love flourishing in my soul that only comes from obeying the Word of God and delighting in Biblical truth.

The hidden sin, the wrong motives, and the matters of the heart that the Holy Spirit revealed to me through meditating on God’s Word this year have become treasures that have nursed my hurting soul and crushed spirit. These jewels of truth have slain my perfectionist tendencies. These gems laced in glory have demolished the handcuffs I’ve strutted for years. My God is worthy of EVERY area of my life. My God is worthy of EVERY area of my mind. My God is worthy of EVERY area of my heart. Not just the crumbs of what I sinfully give Him at times…just enough to ‘look’ the part. I am nothing without my sweet Savior. His merciful and continued correction marks the believer with His love.

“My son, do not despise the LORD’S discipline or be weary of his reproof, for the LORD reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights” (Proverbs 3:11-12).

I want to encourage you to have a 2024 reflection time if you haven’t already. Ponder the matters of the heart. Those deep places where wrong motives root, deceit rises, jealousy grows, sinful thoughts fester, and miniscule manipulations come to life. Those secret places that no one knows about, except you and our Holy God, are still to be put to death with the help from the Holy Spirit.   

My prayer for you and I—is that right now and as we enter into a new year—we have a hunger for God’s Word like we’ve never experienced before. Lord, I pray you give us an unearthly craving to be sanctified and stand firm against every detail of sin in our lives. Lord, help us not to be satisfied in conversations that reek of gossip and slanderous speech. I pray Lord, that You make us detest every utterance of complaints that leaves our lips. Give us a great yearning to chase after holiness in every area of our lives. Father, God, I pray You give us a longing to honor You and this longing takes precedence over any other New Year’s goals we may have. Encourage us with Your Holy Spirit as we are being transformed into the image of Your Son, Jesus. Help us to find a never-ending joy in the eternal salvation You’ve gifted us with through Jesus’ sacrifice. Lord I pray you embed a deep desire in us to spread the gospel to all who will listen. May we continually find profound hope in the waiting for Your second coming our Lord and Savior, in Jesus Name. Amen.

I Trust my God, I Trust my God, I Trust my God.

Ardently His,

Jess Dennis

Somewhere Between Answered Prayers & Internal Wars

Sanctification, Trusting God

“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

(Galatians 2:20)

Though, I’ve all but patented the words…I Trust my God…I haven’t lately…trusted my God. In fact, I’ve been plagued with worry, anxiousness, and self-consumed with what I want in this momentary life. I’ve tainted my answered prayers…the prayers nesting and manifesting all around me. My current state can become distorted and lost somewhere between the myth of a rainbow and butterfly life and the reality of a life filled with dying to self, pushing me in the trenches of my sanctification journey—cutting and burning my sin, self-centeredness, and worldly desires—leaving more purified places that took a lot of pain to reflect my Jesus even just a little bit. Then in my weakness and self-centeredness I find myself picking up the cut and burned pieces of darkness and my flesh aches and I want to put the pieces back into their familiar places.

But they don’t quite fit anymore.

And I’m sad, and I’m thankful at the same time. My flesh craves those pieces back where they’ve camped for years. But my spirit knows they don’t belong there anymore. And it’s a war, a never-ending war on this side of glory. Battles come and battles go. Victories are celebrated with praises to My Lord for strengthening me for my journey. But battles are lost too. At the end of some days I am met with defeat, exhaustion, tears, and fear of the unknown.

I don’t want to give up some things in the way I know the Lord is calling me to do.  

I.don’t.want.to. 

But I know I have to. 

I crave to be understood by those around me. I crave to be different. I crave to be more Christ-like in all circumstances. And I fail, over, and over, again. I fail. 

But God.

You know Who doesn’t fail? My God.

And He’s doing something. He’s so personal, He’s so near. The Creator of the universe is doing something in me. He’s working and rearranging all of the things that don’t align with His truth, His Word, His goodness. And it hurts. It’s as if a limb is being dismembered. I don’t care if that queues the dramatics curtain. It hurts. The cutting, the burning, the dismembering of a sin nature so masked that it didn’t even feel like sin until it’s exposed and held to the light of truth illuminated through God’s Holy Word. 

It hurts. I hurt. And it’s time to say goodbye to things I’ve held so close, idolized, and found temporal peace in for far too long. 

My time.

An uninterrupted schedule. 

A life of order.

A perfect home.

A surface reaching peace. 

A facade of control.

Cut it off. Burn it to pieces. Dismember it. 

Whatever it is the Holy Spirit is leading you to kill, stop fighting it. Surrender. Draw your sword and slay it with help from the Holy Spirit.

As Christ followers our individual journey is different—but has one goal—to reflect the image of Jesus. The moral standard of right and wrong and revelation of “big” sins should be blindingly clear—but sin and darkness comes in many forms—All-consuming, reeking of death, but also slow and subtle. Sin can sneak in and disguises itself as good and peaceful, but slowly becomes poison that screams to be poured first as our day begins. 

What is your slow and subtle poison? What is creeping to the center of your worship?

Or, maybe it’s just me struggling to lay aside these subtle—unknowing to anyone else sins—that are stealing my joy, peace, and creating a false reality of a life that doesn’t exist.

In Romans chapter 7, the apostle Paul writes about being freed from the law through Christ.

“…You also have died to the law through the body of Christ, so that you may belong to another, to him who has been raised from the dead, in order that we may bear fruit for God. For while we were living in the flesh, our sinful passions, aroused by the law, were at work in our members to bear fruit for death. But now we are released from the law, having died to that which held us captive, so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit and not in the old way of the writing code.

What then shall we say? That the law is sin? By no means! Yet if it had not been for the law, I would not have known sin. For I would not have known what it is to covet if the law had not said, “You shall not covet.” But sin, seizing an opportunity through the commandment, produced in me all kinds of covetousness. For apart from the law, sin lies dead. I was once alive apart from the law, but when the commandment came, sin came alive and I died. The very commandment that promised life proved to be death to me. For sin, seizing an opportunity through the commandment, deceived me and through it killed me. So the law is holy, and the commandment is holy and righteous and good” (Romans 7:4-12 ESV).

I’ve read this passage dozens of times through the years. But in the more recent years, these words have come to life to me. Paul describes the war of flesh and spirit so perfectly. Though we are freed from the law of just following these religious rules—the law is necessary, but apart from Christ the law leads to death.

Have you ever found yourself in a season of knowing all the right answers, knowing all the right Bible verses to turn to, but yet the discipline of surrendering to the Holy Spirit is left dusty on the top shelf?

Paul continues with, “Did that which is good, then, bring death to me? By no means! It was sin, producing death in me through what is good, in order that sin might be shown to be sin, and through the commandment might become sinful beyond measure. For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am flesh, sold under sin. For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me” (Romans 7:13-20 ESV).

When we are in Christ—sin in our lives will be revealed to us, even sins that are masked with good intentions, but are still a form of idolatry since we’re seeking peace from those things rather than our Lord and Savior.

It hurts our flesh and natural depraved nature knowing we have to lay these sins down over and over daily until our final day on this earth. But, what a gift the Lord has given us as one who He has mercifully gifted salvation to—the gift of Himself. We know through God’s Word that He won’t abandon, forsake, tire of, push aside, or leave us to fight our fleshly battles alone. NO! His Word PROMISES Himself to the believer in Jesus Christ.

In Deuteronomy 31:18, Moses summons Joshua and says, “It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” Then in verse 23 of the same chapter, the Lord Himself commissions Joshua saying, “Be strong and courageous, for you shall bring the people of Israel into the land that I swore to give them. I will be with you.”

The Psalmist pens in Psalm 9:10, “And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.”

I don’t want to covet, idolize, or submit to my own comforts in my daily life any longer. I want what my God wants for my life—which is to look more and more like my Jesus. Regardless of the pain it causes my flesh. The pain won’t matter in eternity. The obsessiveness with time, perfection of space, and resentfulness of chaotic schedules won’t matter.

…And if those things won’t matter in eternity, why should they consume me now?

Rather, I want to be consumed with God’s Word. I want to be consumed in growing in knowledge of the holiness and goodness of God. I want to be consumed with God’s love and learning to love others with the love of Christ.

No matter the battles we face in this fallen world, no matter the difficulty we endure from the daily slaying of our flesh, no matter the deep submission to sufferings beyond our control in this momentary life… no matter… God is with us until the end…and for eternity… Emmanuel.

I Trust my God, I Trust my God, I Trust my God.

Ardently His,

Jess Dennis